VALUES ARE THE VERY CORE of our personality. Your values are what make you the person you are. As within, so without. We live our lives from inside out. Everything you do on the outside is influenced and determined by what is going on inside you whether you know it or not. The greater clarity you have regarding your values within, the more precise and effective will be your actions on the outside. For you to function effectively, you must understand the five levels of your personality. Your personality is made up of what can be likened to five rings starting from inside out:
- Your Values
- Your Beliefs
- Your Expectations
- Your Attitudes
- Your Actions
- YOUR VALUES:
This is the core of your being. It’s the control center of your life. You invariably live consistent with your innermost values, whether you like it or not. Your values determine your views about yourself, people and the larger world around you.
The happiest people are not necessarily the wealthiest people, but those living in harmony with their innermost convictions and values.
Dale Carnegie once wrote, “Tell me what gives a person his highest feeling of importance, and I’ll tell you his entire philosophy of life.”
Answer these questions to further give you an idea of your values:
– What makes you happiest?
– What gives you the highest sense of importance?
– What raises your self-esteem?
– What increases your sense of self-respect?
– What accomplishments in the past gave you the greatest sense of pride and fulfillment?
The sincere answers to these questions will tell you what your real values are.
You must discover your real heart’s desire not based on present needs but on passion and conviction. Your values determine your belief systems.
- YOUR BELIEFS:
Your beliefs are basically what you assume to be true. They are what you have accepted, considered to be true, or held as an opinion based on your perspectives created by your values.
Your beliefs determine your expectations of yourself, your world, circumstances and the people around you.
Your belief system is the invisible force behind your behavior. It is one of the strongest forces that affect any decision that you make.
Belief systems are strongly based on the environment.
As humans, we accumulate thousands of beliefs throughout our lifetime, about different aspects of life. From birth, we gain an education about who we are, how life is, how to respond to things, etc. This is done effectively through things that other people say about us or about others, things we hear around us, how things are done, attitudes to things in our careers, even emotional states of our parents, things we read, or other external influences that we are exposed to while growing up.
All of these beliefs interact with one another, affect one another, and together form a system of perception, right or wrong. Your beliefs determine your expectations.
- YOUR EXPECTATIONS:
Your expectations are your strong hopes or beliefs that something will happen or that you will get something that you want. They are what you anticipate strongly.
A person’s expectations are the strong beliefs they have about the proper way someone should behave or something should happen. Your expectations determine how you contemplate things and what you expect from yourself and others, how people respond to you or behave, and how excited you are about your life, possibilities and opportunities.
When your beliefs are right you will have a positive outlook towards life and always look for the good in others and in every situation. Our expectations are a way of focusing on what we would like the future to hold for us, which means our life depends on them. A person without expectations is like one with very short-term memory because he or she always cannot remember how things will turn out and must re-learn life’s lessons over and over.
Many people are programmed negatively and expect positive results in life, things do not work that way. The law of attraction says you attract to yourself who you are and what you think.
Many have unrealistic expectations and so assume a level of control that they don’t actually have over situations. They repeatedly feel disappointed that their expectations have not been met, and so become more negative, angry and frustrated with life.
You must get rid of all negativity and feed yourself with positive things. Learn to enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. Enjoy your life now, for this present level will soon expire.
Value relationships, for they are the ships we ride on into destiny.
Laugh often, dance to your own beat.
In all your striving and getting, never ever forget to savor each moment. After all, the best things in life are free. Find good in every bad situation, find joy in every sad circumstance and find purpose in every disappointing event. Always view life’s challenges from the right side. Look at the glass as half full rather than half empty. Make the most of every moment you live, for you can never buy back time once it’s gone.
Your expectations will determine your attitude.
- YOUR ATTITUDE:
Attitude is everything. Attitude is more important than altitude. A person with a great attitude will go further than a person with the skills. Your attitude will determine how far you can go. It is the outward manifestation of your values, beliefs and expectations.
Attitude is one of the most important factors in helping you get through the highs and lows of life. Attitude is how you cope with and even overcome and handle life’s challenges and successes.
The right attitude helps you respond to life’s many unpredictable situations, with poise and peace.
Your response to life and difficulties will invariably have an effect on your overall health, creativity, performance and general happiness.
Having a positive attitude means being optimistic about situations, interactions, and yourself.
People with positive attitudes can remain hopeful and see the best in others and in things even in difficult situations.
WHAT CAUSES NEGATIVE ATTITUDES?
We become negative and pessimistic when we set unrealistic expectations or try to change too much at one time. Then, when we encounter obstacles, which are normal, we overreact and possibly give up on our plans, which further reinforces a negative attitude. Whenever you give up, you accept defeat and failure. This makes you discouraged, so you emit a negative atmosphere.
We assume that any uncomfortable feeling is unwarranted and a sign of weakness on our part. Thus, we give up on ourselves. But you must learn to keep on moving.
Successful people are those that failed many times over before they succeeded, but with each failure, they pick themselves up again.
Failure is not a person but an event. Do not park there.
A positive attitude always starts with positive thoughts.
HOW TO THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS:
- Cultivate a strong connection with God
- Focus on the good things. Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life
- Practice gratitude always
- Put a ten on everyone. Believe in all men
- Open yourself up to humor
- Spend time with positive people
- Confess the right words to and about yourself and about others
- Identify your areas of negativity and deal with them
- Start every day on a positive note
- Spend time daily with the people you love
Your attitudes determine your actions
- YOUR ACTIONS:
Your action is the highest reflection of your values, beliefs, expectations and attitudes. This is why what you are able to achieve is determined largely by what is going on inside you than any other factor. The greatest enemy of a man is never outside of him but within him – E-N-E-M-Y, pronounced ‘Inner – me’.
AS IT IS WITHIN, SO IT IS WITHOUT…
You can always tell what’s going on inside a person by looking at the conditions of their outer lives. A positive, goal-oriented, optimistic person within will most likely enjoy a happy, successful and prosperous life on the outside most times.
I believe that ‘the ultimate goal of human life is never meant to be wealth, power or influence, but to achieve personal happiness. You are happiest when what you are doing is consistent with your inner values and beliefs.
When you are living in total alignment with what you consider to be your purpose, you will automatically feel happy and positive about yourself and your world in general.
Any action contrary to your inner values will only leave you frustrated, stressed and negative.
When you find what is most important to you in life, then go ahead and build your life around these objectives.
Your chief responsibility is to develop absolute clarity about what is most important to you and focus on living them out against all odds.
This is the definition of true success. It is living a maximized life practically.